Going With The Flow


Now that I have my final treatment schedule, I expect things to settle down to more of a pattern for the remainder of my treatment. The radiation therapy department is having some construction done so they’re consolidating down to one machine, which moves my daily radiation treatment to 7:30 am. I do that every weekday, then also have chemo on Tuesdays.

Monday closes out week two of treatment, which puts me an even 29% done with both radiation and chemo!

I’m starting to feel the fatigue that’s a hallmark of simultaneous chemo and radiation treatment. It comes and it goes–sometimes I have moments of normal clarity and focus… but other times I have to reread sentences several times to see if what I wrote even makes sense. I’m learning to let my own body tell me what my work hours are. I felt great yesterday afternoon and knocked out a big plan for a part of the game I’m working on, and this morning had a couple hours of clarity and updated some documents and wireframes.

Exercise is supposed to help with the fatigue, so I got a couple Wii games to help get me moving. Both sound right up my alley–focused on exploration. One is super simple and just involves walking (which I figure I can do, regardless how I feel) and the other is more active from a kind of Indiana Jones exploration sort of a sense. I’m going to try playing them for 30 minutes when I feel myself starting to fade.

Last night, I laid in bed thinking about how much I’m looking forward to getting on the other side of this. It’s not about getting my life back–it’s about getting a new life. There are things I had been wanting to do that I had been putting off for years, like writing that book. It’s hard to find the energy for big new projects right now (well, besides the big new project Cancer Killer 2012) but it’s exciting to look ahead.

I’m glad my treatment is happening in the spring. As I heal, I see the world healing around me too.

Related Posts

Be Your Own Advocate

I routinely encounter folks dealing with serious illness (mostly cancer, in my circumstances) who accept whatever the first doctor they meet tells them, even if what they’re told is that there is no hope. I

Read More »

Head and Neck Cancer Awareness Month

April is head and neck cancer awareness month! Be aware of the causes and symptoms, summarized in the graphic at the bottom. For me, it was a swollen lymph node below my jaw that didn’t

Read More »

Clinical Trial Math

Clinical trial math example: Monday + every two months = time to start worrying about my scan the following Monday. Tuesday + pain below my right ribs = worry about that AND the scan the

Read More »

My Best Days Are Ahead Of Me

Last year, I was in the hospital from chemo for my birthday, not knowing the cancer would blossom again months later. This year, I’m walking around San Francisco–short of breath sometimes, but walking–looking forward to

Read More »

Unpredictability and Patterns

The every-other-week treatment schedule has become habit at this point. In at 7:45 am, IV and blood draw, discussion with the trial nurse, meet with Dr. Ani, get the blood test results, then infusion and

Read More »

Speaking Out and its Price

I’m exhausted and stressed and sad and angry. I try to keep my posts here focused and positive, but it’s really hard at this point. I was contacted last week by the Organizing Director of

Read More »